I was drinking coffee at Starbucks at the airport after my shift today when a guy from security pulled some small talk on me and asked if I wanted to go for coffee sometime. A few minutes later another security guard came over to me and asked if I worked at DF. I said yes, thinking there was a flight cancelled and had to deal with the sales on that flight, but the security guard handed me a little paper and said I had a secret admirer. It had the first guys name and number on it. I felt a little cheesed, and a little awkward. 

Should I get back at the guy?

I told my mom, and she doesn't think it's right that I should call him...lol.

Daniel asked me out for dinner on Saturday at a nice restaurant. I haven't replied back to him yet.

Going out for lunch with Melissa today. Need to fill her in on what's been happening lately.

Went and had coffee with my old friend Daniel today.

paw in mah face.

My ex sent me a text this afternoon asking me if I wanted to do anything tonight. I bluntly told him No and that I had homework. Then he apologized. 

I think I have a little crush on this guy at work. We get along pretty well and he's not too bad to look at either. Actually, I find him quite handsome when he's all dressed up in uniform and with his hair all fixed up. He never used to do that - style his hair. I think that's when my crush on him first started. He just looks more male model-like..........  and he's got pretty nice skin for a guy too. And he's a lot more taller than I am even when I wear heels. big plus.

But for now, I'm not really looking for anything more than just some good eye candy and good company.

But it is nice to dream~

I have a french exam tomorrow...but I'm not all that worried even though I'm really behind. I missed two labs already and had planned to make up for them tomorrow but I didn't even do the lab exercises. I will get to them. Eventually. 

A little more worried for my proposal which is due tomorrow as well. Its for Communication Disorders. Sort of want to do the best that I can in that class not just for my sake but so that my prof doesn't penalize me. I'm a little intimidated by him.

I drank some beer tonight too which is making me sleepy. Probably wasn't the best idea.

It's all so funny because we had a long weekend this weekend and I had so much time to do these things but just laid around all day. I really can't believe it's Sunday already. Time flies when all you do is sleep.  

the painting in tis video brings me back to that moment when I was completely vulnerable and disoriented..

Found out that a friend of a friend of mine got shot in the head last night. Was coming home from a rave and just like that it happened. It's hard thinking about the fact that I just saw him earlier this month. Oudy was his name. Didn't really know him but he was well known within our circle of peers. Condolences to his family.

Mother and I went to see my grandmother, aunt and uncle. Hadn't seen them in a long time since there had been some issues going on with our family. Finding out a lot of things from my aunt that I never knew about and I feel really sorry for her and that she's hurting. My dad didn't even know we went over to there place to visit. My mom and I kept it to ourselves since I think my dad still has a grudge against my uncle...or something... I don't even know. It's too confusing. I'm glad my mom and I went over there today though to settle some things. Was happy to see my little cousins as well. 

Work was work. I did what I usually did until the very end when my boss came in and abruptly unplugged the computer and took it away. Had to close the day a little differently because of that. Stayed at work for a couple more hours to help pack things up for the new store at the new terminal. It wasn't hard really. We did a lot more sitting around than anything else. But yeah, looking forward to working at the new airport tomorrow~ I hope I don't get lost. 

Went to wal-mart after work to by Mario party for my DS. Thought I'd buy a game for the heck of it. Now that I'm single (Yeah, I had to end it with my boyfriend. And I really hope I can be strong this time and stick to this plan. So far I'm doing pretty good.) I thought I'd keep my mind off my ended relationship of two years by going back to what interested me before I got into the dating game. Gaming (somewhat) and mario party since it was the only game I was good at. Bought two movies in the $5 bin as well. Crash (2004) and The Shawshank Redemption (1994). I watched Crash and boy did it make me cry and confused. I didn't even cry when I broke up with my boyfriend, or even when I listened to slow jams. didn't feel the least bit choked. But after watching that movie, it made me realize how lonely I felt. 

Sometimes I feel like I want to call someone. Not him. My friends and people I used to talk about life with. But I've distanced myself from everyone who was ever close to me and so now I'm just sitting here hoping my phone would ring at least once tonight. lol I'm a sad person. It's funny because when I was growing up things didn't seem to phase me at all. My reaction to most issues were like, *shrug* = "oh well." I see the world differently now. Can't just shrug things off anymore.

These days I can't stand being by myself either. I used to find comfort in solitude but my mindset has change so much since then.

oh btw, I got an A as I had anticipated on my exam. Go me~

To be honest, I really am feeling better and happier in a sense. but I know that sometime, unexpectedly I'm just going to break down at the most random time at the most random place. Agh...breakups. I'm confused...

Hey ya'll.. Been a while. Life has been pretty swell lately. mostly.  School has been pretty good. Work has been alright too. The boyfriend and I don't really see each other too often now but we find relief in the space we're giving each other. Actually, I think I'm enjoying my space a little more than I should be. It's kind of bad but I feel a little weird being around my boyfriend now...:. It's not that I've lost interest in him, I just think those periods of being apart made me focus more on my job and studies which recently have become my main priorities aside from my family. And quite frankly, I've been doing really well just worrying about those things. Despite all the school work and the hectic hours I work, the amount of stress I get from them isn't much compared to the stress I used to get in my relationship with my boyfriend. I don't feel intimate at times even.. I can easily find satisfaction just from studying really hard and walking in and out of an exam room with confidence. It's the best feeling ever, and I don't remember ever feeling so hopeful and happy in such a long time. It could also just be that I'm too tired and stressed with this lifestyle that I can't find the energy to be intimate. Sorry boyfriend. I can tell he's frustrated at times. 

Work can be somewhat demanding with school and all. I have to rush to work right after class on some days and hope that I'll be able to fight through traffic and make it to work on time. It's a bit annoying but I am always up for the challenge. I usually make it right on the dot though so they forgive me if I'm late by a few minutes. Only thing that really bothers me sometimes is the thing that happened back in July. It's a little hard to forget when the incident happened at my workplace but the root of the problem is gone and everything is going pretty well with me now. Getting over that sort of trauma (this could be a reason why I don't feel comfortable with my boyfriend) takes time and I shouldn't overwhelm myself with thoughts of the past that won't benefit me in the future. I should really just think about my own well being and look at the bright side of things. The new airport is opening soon and we're going to be transferring there by the end of this month. A lot of new things to learn and to look forward to. A new change in environment will definitely help me feel more at ease. I'm excited~ and looking forward to it. 

At school, I'm pretty much my old self. Carefree and laid back. knowing that the worst thing that could possibly happen is that I might forget to do an assignment, which has happened twice already. Totally just slipped my mind, but my professors were nice about it. But I promised I'd finish it in the next 30 minutes. I'm lucky, but I know I won't make a habit of it. I had a midterm last Wednesday and I'm pretty confident that I got an A at least. haha! (I don't want to be too confident now and later on find out that I only got a C+. Damn it how terrible that would be! I'd be pissed). I studied a lot the night before the exam which isn't the most ideal way of studying, but I already knew the material really well. I attended and listened attentively in every class and just found the class to be really interesting, so yeah. A+ please! Praying~

I'm going to wake up early tomorrow and go to Church. It's been a while. Recently I'd gotten in touch with my spirituality and just took some time during the day to just reflect and pray. I am not religious. That's why I said spirituality and not religion. I used to be pretty religious though. I'd pray every night growing up. But now, I don't even know if I believe in God anymore. Got really caught up with life that the feeling of God is gone. It's upsetting to admit. That's why I'm sort of making it a goal to find what was once there. Every time I do pray though, I notice that everything just seems to get better.