The only bad thing that I'm getting out of this relationship is that I'd been smoking way too much pot because my boyfriend smokes way too much pot. It's making me lazy. I lost my motivation to do things. I ended up dropping two courses this semester. I don't want to do it because of what it entails but at the same time I enjoy doing it because it takes me to a happier place...sometimes. Other times I'm left paranoid and think way too much. So shit.. 

I don't mind doing it from time to time but what bothers me is that my boyfriend gets high almost everyday and doesn't really stop to think that maybe he should get up, stop playing video games for a bit, maybe go back to school and jump start a career. He's quite young. 21 in September. Not that young but he still seems like a teenager without a care. I'll give him a year to sort out his thoughts - if our relationship lasts that long. He needs to develop a type of work ethic since he doesn't have one. It's like he relies on weed to make him forget about what he needs to and should do. 

I'm also frustrated with myself because I was doing so well last semester. Things were really looking up for me. After 3 years of uni I was getting straight A's and really knew where I was headed and I was confident to go in that direction. Breaking up with my ex last year was the best move I could ever make for myself. But in the new year I was again distracted by a boy and went back to square one. 

What the hell. I'm glad I'm in the relationship that I am in now, don't get me wrong. I'm super happy and grateful for him. There's just times where we have way too much fun and forget about our responsibilities. Another thing that makes me wanna slap myself is when my boyfriend complains about how he hates work and doesn't want to work and hates responsibility. He can seriously sound like a kid sometimes. Grow up, please. 

My ex text me last night saying me t4 was ready. We worked at the same place for about two years. I'm going to pick it up when he's not working or whenever. I'm taking Sam with me because I don't want to go there myself. Anyway, after my ex told me that he just had to mention he had a new girlfriend after I told him how many times that I didn't want to be friends or talk to him anymore. He's an idiot.

I finally found a guy who I can be silly with. 

 expect to:

- make out while idle in a car and rear end the person in front of you. 
- almost get a parking ticket.
- do the waltz in a Best Buy. 

I met his parents and sister today. It was awkwardly similar to how my family would react.

I found a really good guy who I can talk to about everything and be weird with and laugh hysterically with. 

I'm just worried as to how long this will all last. I don't want to get bored or have our relationship end poorly because it's just so good right now. 

Ever since we hooked up all he talks about is sex. Wow.

Uh. Yeah I slept with him. In my house. In my room. Totally unexpected. But I'm glad it happened. So glad!

I just got home from an afternoon/night out with Sam. He came and picked me up at about 1 and I just got home now. Which is 11. This would be considered a date, right?

We smoked a blunt in his car.
Watched Mission impossible 4.
Walked around the mall.
Ate dinner at a restaurant. he paid. 
Walked around some more.
Had some Starbucks.
Sat in his car for a good 30 minutes.
Drove around the city for a good 45 minutes.
He showed me where he lived.
Drove around some more.
And brought me home at 11.

Sometimes I can't believe I'm with him. That a guy I kinda like kinda likes me too. It's nice but I'm still feeling a bit anxious about moving on. He's an awesome guy though. Really fun to be around with and we share the same humour.

I'm actually surprised he didn't make a move though. There was some flirting and stuff but he really kept his distance. Didn't feel nervous but did feel weirded out a bit. With guys in the past, they'd usually make a move on me on the first date and then we'd be official. But I like this now. I don't want to rush into things and just hang out and have fun. 

I'm going to the movies with a co-worker tomorrow after work. It's the guy I had a slight crush on every time he fixed his hair. lol

We laugh and talk a lot about ridiculous things and we just enjoy each others company I think. I don't think he likes me like everyone says. He's just a really sweet guy and all this is just friend stuff. 

But we'll see. We went to the library together the other day to try and do my French assignment since he knows how to speak French, but then we just goofed off and didn't get it done. oh well. and his car got towed which was sad. Thought he wasn't going to talk to me after that. But he did.

Today at work actually I felt a little nervous to see him since everyone had been saying "oh, he likes you!" So when he came in, I avoided talking to him and making eye contact. lol There are two stores that we have so him and my other co-worker had to go over to the other part of the airport since they were running that one, and I was on my own in the main store. He came back suddenly which startled me since he walked in quietly while I was looking down writing something. Then yeah he kept talking about stuff and eventually mentioned movies and I actually said we should watch Mission Impossible 4 and he said yeah and asked when I wanted to go. Then we picked tomorrow to watch it, and then he gave me some gum and we took some Advil since we were both pretty hungover. lol

anyway. yeah. kinda weird that this is happening.