April 24, 2011
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I think I should've purged all of the alcohol in my system when I still had the chance. Now my stomachs making all sort of noises right now. I was still feeling sick this morning before heading to work too. I woke up 15 minutes before I had to leave so I felt really rushed and didn't get to eat breakfast. My stomach was killing me.
I really didn't want to go to work today. Knowing I was going to see him and everyone else who only knows his side of the story. I just kept telling myself to pull myself together and just do my job.
But it was really exhausting to be honest. Trying to make it seem like everything was okay for me. And plus today was so busy since a lot of businesses are closed tomorrow, so everyone's going out today. I felt like I was going to faint.
Each night since, I think since we started having disputes, I've been going to bed so late. Like around 2:30-4 in the morning just thinking about everything. And I would still dream about him too each night. I really miss him. But I really need to forget. We didn't talk at all to each other today, and we barely made any eye contact. We did briefly but continued doing what we were supposed to do.. It was really sad.
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